The Meeker Family

I volunteer on a planning committee to put on the event, Night of Warmth, a benefit for Ethiopian Orphan Relief.

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Thanksgiving was really fun this year!  

We initially planned to go see some family out of town, but then found ourselves staying home and (and though it wasn't planned in advance) we spent lots of time with our loved ones.  

Family comes to stay with us

On Thanksgiving day I just start cooking not really knowing who would be able to come.  It ended up being a really fun day spent with lots of family and there was more than enough food for everyone.

The cousins play

We got a Christmas tree (Dawit is VERY excited about his first Christmas in America).

Then we had another Thanksgivning dinner with my extended family at my parents house.

We watched some football.

Dawit dressed up in costumes.

Dawit enjoyed the undivided attention of his uncles, my cousins, and his dad as they kicked the ball around in the backyard.

More good food

~Abbie

I feel a little overwhelmed as I think back to this time last year.  I can still find tears of joy welling in my eyes when thinking about the judge in Ethiopia saying to us, "he's all yours."  It amazes me when I think about how close we have grown as a family over the last year.  I also remember how hard it was to leave Dawit in the orphanage on our first trip and how scary it was to know that our lives were going to change forever in ways that we could not predict. 

We were not allowed to view Dawit's information/proceed with an older child adoption without acknowledging that we were willing to take some risks.  Specifically, that our child could have been abused, could abuse other children, could abuse animals, could exhibit sociopathic behavior, could have night terrors, and/or could have trouble attaching to other people in healthy ways (which may lead to sociopathic behavior).  Our child would likely be malnourished and may have any number of undetected health problems.  Though more common in infant adoption, a child may pass away before he or she is able to be adopted.  We had to agree that we were aware of these risks and that we would like to proceed with an irrevocable adoption.  We were warned that we may only get to see our child for about 3 hours before we went to court in Ethiopia; it was likely that we wouldn't know that we would be facing these challenges until our child was home with us.

Then you are able to review your child's information and it really just tells you the bad/indifferent stuff.  It may list the reasons your child is currently in an orphanage (those are always sad stories).  It will probably tell you a little health information, some of it probably won't be good because your child will probably be malnourished.  You actually won't know much.

Then you board a plane to make an irrevocable decision that will forever impact all of your lives.  ITS PRETTY INTENSE.

We were so excited, joyful, grateful, scared, and intimidated all at once.  

We spent a great deal of time thinking this decision through.

Here is what we thought about the risks associated with older child adoption:

Adoption agencies have to warn you of these risks because you are making an irrevocable decision and its good to make a decision with your eyes wide open.  However, these warnings can paint a bleak and scary picture of older child adoption (and the joys of older child adoption are harder to generalize because every child is so different).

Ultimately, no one knows the challenges that they will face with their children.  Though these challenges may be more common in older child adoption (though, I haven't seen any statistics so I really don't know if that is true), we could choose to have biological children or adopt an infant and still face these challenges.

The question for us then became: do we want to have children even if it could be really challenging and painful?

We thought about it and for us the answer was yes.  We just thought that someday when we are old and gray, looking back on our lives, we wouldn't ever regret that we spent our lives loving our children even if it was really hard (we tend to think of love as an action/commitment rather than a feeling, which can change so easily).

We think that loving other people and loving God are worthwhile ways to spend your life, even when it is hard, because we're Christian.  At the end of our lives, if we have spent our time, money, thought, energy, etc. on these things, we feel that it will be worthwhile.  

So the question then became: if we think that loving this little boy is something that we will never regret even if it is costly, hard, and painful, then what would stop us from making him our son?  There wasn't anything.

If you have been following our adoption journey, then you should know that Dawit is one awesome kid!  As it turned out, he's really easy to love.  He's adorable, smart, VERY talented, REALLY SILLY, laughs easily, he's just a joy to be with.  He's easy to love.  It could have just as easily gone the other way: it could have been hard, but we would love him just the same.

This has been something that I have been wanting to write about for awhile now because several people have asked me what we thought about these risks and were curious to hear if we were ever scared/intimidated because of them.

~ Abbie

Today marks the anniversay of our court date in Ethiopia, when Dawit officially became our son.  We didn't get to bring him home until January 8th, but we have officially been a family for 1 year.  To celebrate we went ice skating as a family (this was Dawit's choice; he's been waiting to show his dad how well he can skate).

Then we came home, made some hot chocolate, the boys watched football, and I caught up on these blog entries.

I can't believe it's been a year!  Feeling sentimental today...

~ Abbie

As we were going through our adoption process, one of the unexpected joys that we found were the deep friendships that it forged.  Paul and I met the Donaldsons because our children lived together in Hope Community Orphanage (the orphanage that Dawit was originally from in the north).  They messaged us last week to let us know that Gabe, the orphanage director, would be staying with them for a few days if we wanted to come for a visit.  Gabe was like a father figure for Dawit and the Donaldson's children were a little like brother and sister to Dawit; so of course we jumped at the chance for a visit.  Dawit was SO excited!

The kids played and laughed as if the hadn't missed a day from one another.  Paul and I got to talk a lot with Gabe and our friends, the Donaldsons.  Gabe is working on fundraising for a radio broadcast in Ethiopia, which is what brought him to the States.  The time went too fast!

On the drive home, Dawit cried.  He misses them.  

You come to expect some suffering in life as you get older, but its hard to watch your kid suffer and to know that there is nothing that you can do to take that pain away.

~ Abbie 

Birthday boy!

Dawit got a slice of cake almost as big as his head.  He was so happy about it that he couldn't stop laughing.  Seriously.  Here he is still laughing and the cake is almost finished:

PURE JOY!

Thanks so much for inviting us guys; we had so much fun and LOVED that we got to be a part of this special day!

~ Abbie

Paul was out of town with my dad and one of my brothers on a fly fishing trip.  So, over the weekend Dawit and I went to grandma's birthday party.

It was fun!

The next day we got together with some friends to watch the OSU football game, have a chili cook-off, and let the kids run around.  He LOVES to see his best friend!

This was lots of fun too!

The following day I took Dawit ice skating for the first time.  He was really good at it and he LOVED it!  He REALLY wants to go back with Paul because he thinks that he is going to be a better skater than Paul.  Ha!  He's pretty competitive and doesn't suffer from low self-esteem at all!

~ Abbie

In 1989, Paul's mom sewed this Batman costume for Paul.  Dawit found it in a box at her house and has been wearing it at every chance he gets.  So for Halloween this year, he was Batman.

He went to a fun Halloween party with his friend, M, who he lived with in the orphanage.

He went to Boo at the Zoo and collected lots of candy.

He was looking forward to carving the pumpkin that he picked out.  He drew a face on it, but he decided that carving pumpkins is too smelly; dad had to take over.  He did like the roasted pumpkin seeds though.

He has been asking me almost daily when Halloween will happen again; it's very disappointing that this only happens once a year.

~Abbie

Dawit was really looking forward to his cousin's birthday party!  He LOVES watching people open presents!

He quickly found a cape to wear and run around in.

He fell and was momentarily hurt, which is secretly one of my favorite times because my baby is usually too busy for cuddling.  However, when he is a little hurt all he wants is for me to hold and snuggle him until he is happy again and feels better (judge me if you want, but I LOVE getting to cuddle with him).

"I'm four"

Ruby is so cute!

~ Abbie